“As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.”
- Elizabeth Gilbert
How resenting vet med can lead to enhanced wellbeing
Do you resent vet med? Even a little bit?
I bet you know at least one person who has left vet med or is thinking about leaving the profession because they resented it heavily.
If you currently find yourself resenting vet med, you’re not alone, and it’s actually a really powerful way to find fulfillment and maybe even inner peace as a vet professional and as a human.
In this short article, I’m going to give you a simple - yet thorough - strategy for using your resentment to take your life to an entirely different level!
This article is not an attempt to get you to stay in the profession, nor is it an attempt get you to leave the profession.
Hopefully, you'll find whatever it is that you're looking for deep down inside, in this article!
I Used to Hate My Life as a Human and as a Veterinarian
For the first 3 years after I graduated from veterinary school, I found myself burnout and with a LOT of resentment towards the profession in general.
I didn’t have a wellbeing toolbox, and I eventually started engaging in unhealthy ways of coping with the stress of life and vet med.
I lost 3 uncles in a year and half, gained 45 pounds, started drinking heavily, and almost ruined my marriage.
I struggled with the stress of difficult cases and surgeries and the exhaustion from a really big caseload.
The main reason I came into the profession in the first place was to find FULFILLMENT and JOY in helping people and helping animals - NOT to be miserable every day that I worked. However, it seems I had lost all hope of actually enjoying being a vet when I was going through this difficult time.
I was officially resentful! It sucked! And on top of it all, I was having suicidal ideation!
Life was just really really blah!
Long story short, I overcame my struggle, and the resentment I used to have, has led me to a much better life here in 2020, and the rest of this article is dedicated to helping you use your resentment to do the same!
How to Use Your Resentment to Your Advantage?
Rest assured, if you are resentful then the following 3 statements are probably true:
There are things in your life and your job that you can’t stand that you wish would change.
There are things that you want that you don’t have.
There are lots of good things happening/present that you aren’t even noticing every single day
Essentially, there are too many ‘bad’ things and things that you lack and not enough ‘good’ things that you’re noticing in your current life situation!
This can easily lead to resentment because the perceived bad is greater than the perceived good!
Step 0: Shift your perspective!
This is vitally important and takes a long time to explain. However, I talk about it in Hour 2 of our 4-Hour RACE-Approved course which you can learn about here.
Without this perspective shift, I'm 99% positive that most highly effective strategies and tools won't work.
Shifting your perspective is like a pre-requisite to a fulfilling life of inner peace and awesomeness.
I've never met anyone with that deep sense of inner peace who didn't have an advancing perspective of life.
Step 1: Commit to changing things for the better
Have you ever made a real, hardcore commitment towards your own wellbeing? Have you ever really committed to living a life of fulfillment?
Have you ever committed to making sure that the perceived good will always outweigh the perceived bad in your life?
If you have made that commitment, what did the commitment look/sound like?
When did you make it?
How often did you review the commitment?
Real commitments are powerful if done correctly. I review how to make a real commitment in hour one of The Veterinary Wellbeing Choice.
Step 2: Make 2 lists!
Truth is, you are responsible for your own wellbeing, and you've got this! I go over many ways in this very popular article I wrote a year ago.
So the first thing we have to do is get CLEAR on what your life looks like. There are two lists you'll need to get a good overall picture:
Make a list of all of the shitty things in your life that you want to go away; all of the things that you want to get better; and all of the things you want to have that you don’t have. This is your resentment list aka "your shitty list".
Make a list of all of the things that are currently going well.
Don't pay too much attention to the specifics. Simply list out things as they come to you.
So your shitty things list might look like this:
I’m tired of working long hours
My marriage is blah
My dog probably hates me because I just feed it and let it outside and never spend quality time with him/her anymore (even though it is extremely happy to see me everyday)
I want a new dishwasher
I’m a bad mom (dads don’t seem to think that as much even though we often do way less than momma - generally speaking)
I want to start gardening - but i don’t have the knowledge or the time
My kids are demons and my sig other doesn’t carry their weight around the house
I’m tired of doing curbside appointments
I feel like a burden to my family and friends
I’m tired of being at a hospital that is under-staffed like everyday
I hate some of the people I work with
I want clients to be able to pay for their pets
I feel burnout
I never have time to enjoy my kids
I want to make more money
I don’t have time for myself
My body weight is getting out of control
Your good list might look like this:
I have my health
I have a job
My family is in good health
My significant other is faithful
My kids are doing great in school, sports, etc.
I successfully treated ___ number of pets yesterday
I had ____ awesome clients yesterday
I had ____ cute puppy appointments
I have an awesome trip planned to europe in 6 months
-
It’s a beautiful day outside (do I hear a bird chirping? What kind is it? Is it there everyday?)
Step 3: Analyze and use the lists
How to analyze/use the bad list:
You MUST find at least 1 way to be grateful for each item on your shitty list! This is important, and cannot be done without the perspectives from step 0!
Tip #1: Use forward looking gratitude as an easy way to do this if you are finding it difficult to be grateful for items on the shitty list.
Forward looking gratitude is being grateful that something will be better in the future. This is powerful because you don't know that it will still be bad in the future, so we simply assume and believe the positive.
Some wise carpenter said, "As you believe, so shall it be done unto you."
For example: I’m grateful that in the near future, I won’t be feeling burnout anymore; or “I’m grateful that I won’t always be burnout and that my current burnout is nothing more than a growth opportunity.”
Another example of being grateful for something bad is this:
"I’m grateful that instead of two people calling out that only 1 person called out. I’m grateful people don’t call out everyday. I’m grateful that the people who typically show up are reliable, hardworking, and competent."
Next, label each of the items on your list as something that will be easy or simple to change by simply writing ‘EASY’ or ‘SIMPLE’ beside them.
For the ones that are complex, write 'COMPLEX'.
*Don't put 'HARD' beside any of them*
Example: Start gardening = simple
Example: Improving your marriage = complex
How to analyze/use the good list:
Write at least one way your life would be worse were the good thing not there. Or write how your life would be different if you took away each item from your good list.
Ask yourself if you’ve been showing gratitude lately for each item on your good list?
Write at least one way that you can focus in on these good things when they happen.
Is there a way you can maintain these or make them even better/do them even more?
Wellbeing Warrior Tip: look at this list of good things every single day in the morning, midday, and at night. Your reticular activating system will pick up on these as things you want to notice. You will notice them automatically when they happen. You will notice them on your ‘bad’ days and on your ‘good’ days. They will both be better!
Wellbeing Warrior PowerNote:
If you want to earn CE credit from learning stuff like this be sure to check out our new 4-Hour RACE-Approved course “The Veterinary Wellbeing Choice”
Step 4: Create action plans!
For each item on each of your lists, create an action plan!
Guidelines:
- Pick 1-2 things from your easy/simple list to work towards for the next 30 days
Pick 1-2 complex things to work towards for the next 12 months
Action plan steps:
What resources do you need to create the ideal?
What actions can you take and when can you start taking them?
Who can help you accomplish these things? (Hint: Get MotiVETed)
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For the other items on your list, your job is to simply use Deep Gratitude on those things daily.
In summary, if you are truly resentful and not enjoying your veterinary career, you must take action!
Spend lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of TIME and ENERGY and MONEY if you have to, to figure out what you need to enjoy your life and career!
The Get MotiVETed team BELIEVES IN YOU!
Let us know if we can help!